Journal Entry: A Place for Us

It was pretty much a good day yesterday for a family outing. The weather wasn't overly sunny and hot, the air was balmy and cool, and it was my father's birthday. Yep, another year to fill with really cool memories with your family was in store for him. So to begin the year with full of faith and blessings, my family went to the Divine Mercy Hills at El Salvador City. The place was solemn, neat and in all aspects, holy. Everything about the place was conducive to an individual's self-meditation, reflection and personal assessment.

Our first stop at the place was the parking lot. Hehe. Kidding aside, it was actually the little chapel where most of the visitors would directly move to when there was no mass at the place's church. It's a place where you can pray and ask for the Lord's blessings in your life while also reflecting on your own doings and mishaps. It is a good avenue to renew your faith, re-energize your outlook in life and restore your inner peace.

After visiting the chapel, my siblings and I went to the most scenic spot of the place. The humongous altar featuring a lavish floral garden with the larger-than-life effigy of Christ. As you can see in the image above, it is really beautiful especially when it's set against an eternal backdrop of the cool ocean and the provincial feel of the hills that you can't actually see in the photo. (Hehe) It was, as most people say, uplifting in a sense.

Lastly, having finished the much-needed pictorial, we went to go and get some water from the place. The water from the place was said to be cleansing and blessed. We drank some of it and also brought a gallon or two from the fountain.

The place was indeed really effective for any person who's been stressed or dragged down by the urban lifestyle, or the lack of it. It can help you believe that somehow there are places in this world untarnished and untouched by the influences of the malicious and the malefic yet unhidden and accessible to those who want to reach out to their Creator.

A word of caution; pants are accepted, shorts are discouraged and skirts are the preferred.

Goings-On 5: The Sleeper

I had a class regarding "ergonomics" in a very early morning. Our classmates were made to report regarding some kind of technologies in the IT field. They used a projector so it was only natural to dim the lights. Due to the huge resemblance of the atmosphere to Nox, I became drowsy. I tried to hide what I was about to do by bowing down my head and covering my visage by artificially rubbing my temple while leaning on my right arm. I went unnoticed. That was until I also didn't notice that the report was already done. What I also didn't know was that our professor noticed all those who became too comfortable for their own good. She humorously berated those people including me. At the moment she acknowledged my inclusion, I unknowingly struck her with a killer stare. She noticed. After class, she called me up and told me to help her bring some of her stuff. When we were out of earshot, she asked if she did irate me. I lied. She apologized. I felt better.

P.S. She was actually nice to me. I do feel somewhat bad about it.

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Journal Entry: Untitled..

The following is but the only love story I have ever written. This was when we were made to create a love story by our Psychology teacher way back when. I don't really know why she ever made us do it but, what the hell, it was for the grade...and i still have no idea what I'd call it..

She was marvelous. She looked breathtakingly beautiful in white. I’ve never seen her with her hair so promptly held back in a tight bun as the gossamer veil that intentionally tried to hide her whole visage showed a little outline. Yep. It was like a dream; a not so pleasant dream. She was everything I’ve ever wanted. She walked pretty slowly as if she was in slow motion, as if everything just suddenly lost some momentum as she entered the holy temple of the Almighty. Crimson petals were thrown at her feet as if everyone was adoring her infinite beauty with such frivolous and feverish glee. Until she slowly pursed her lips and forced a reluctant smile that my world began to make tremors on its own. I was lovestoned*. I was about to burst but I held back knowing that people would be looking.

People were beaming at her as if they were telling her she was really beautiful and lucky for having met a man to live her life with. As much as she tried to hide it, I could see she was pretty concerned on the moment that she was going to say “I do”. It was probably one of those so-called “jitters”. At that moment I knew I had to do something to help her out in the least. That was then when I felt my face was painstakingly contorting with such effort that I could feel my cheek revolting the fact that I was trying to make something of a smile.

I could see her looking at me. She was smiling as well with such teary-eyed expression that just made me want to pull her out of the place and take her to somewhere where she can feel the restraints leaving her like that day when I finally told her about how I felt. Oh, yes..She was pretty happy that day. But today, everything was different. Nerves were running high and anxiety never seemed so larger than life. But still, I was surprised with how much restraint I was able to come up with. Then, she was closer than ever to me. She looked at me with great longing in her eyes but I could only do so much as smile back to her and lower my head. I was giving way. I was giving my way for another person to stand beside me. I was giving way to the man that made me his best man. I was giving way to my best friend who I’ve never seen so happy before. I could see how bright his future could be and how incomplete mine would become. It was like doing a good deed butfeel really bad about it. At that moment, I seemed like I was writing not a sin but a tragedy of my own.

She was looking at him as he took her hand and led her to the altar. She looked nervous and shaking and that was when I saw my friend whispering to her trying to comfort that she forced another contortion of the face muscles. I was really amazed at how much people are becomingly good at abnormal exhibitions of the facial exteriors. Something struck me. I realized that was supposed to be my whisper and I swore I felt the reins were slowly slipping, self-projection was insignificant and consideration was the least of my worries. In that moment, I knew things would never be the same again and I’m pretty sure that it will never be. I have decided.

Goings-on 4: The Passenger

Whenever I'm driving I always have my iPod playing out loud on the car speakers. I'd be rolling it out on the streets in cool fashion. Nodding and singing along to my most favored songs, I was impervious to my surroundings. Inebriated at the moment with sheer disregard of what was going on, I didn't care. It was until I noticed a certain passenger on a jeepney before me. He was looking at me. Feeling both awkward and scrutinized, I slowly lifted up my phone to make it look like I was having a call on loudspeaker. He bought it. Hehe.

Goings-On 3: The Awakening

Yesternight, I decided to sleep late for something that anyone would consider as nothing but a waste of time. I have already planned out everything that I'd be doing the following morning. Having that in mind, I kept in my head the thought that I would be able to wake up early no matter what because some people have always provided me the notion that everything can be done if you just put your mind to it. Having finished what I was doing, I went to bed with still the idea persevering in my head. The following morning I woke up past noon. I was fooled.

Journal Entry: To graduate or not to graduate?

I have been busy juggling my thesis and my projects, graduation is nearing and right now I'm having doubts if this endeavor will be successful. I feel so much pressure at the moment. I hate it when things come this but somehow apprehensive of the possibility of us making it through. I feel so helpless yet hopeful at the same time. Is that possible? An optimistic pessimist. Someone who expects the worst to happen but still has faith to consider brighter things to happen. Silver lining, where art thou?

I guess I'm just gonna keep on working. Crap! I wanna play!

Journal Entry: How to Ruin your own Birthday.

I don't know what is more pathetic; wishing yourself a happy birthday without even anyone remembering or having everyone remember yet you still chose to not celebrate it no matter how much they'd you want to?

The latter was the case for my birthday today. I totally spaced out on everything. My parents got everything planned out. We were going to eat out at lunch yet I told them that they can go with it but I'd prefer to not eat along with them. My mom's voice trailed away little by little as she tries to persuade me to still come but I still stayed resilient. I cannot celebrate when my entire effort in being able to graduate in a few weeks time is about to be set in jeopardy (with special thanks to myself of course). So my parents resolved to getting us some take outs and told me to just call my friends over so that we can have some cake and ice cream instead. Perhaps tomorrow after I've become normal again.

Anyway, happy birthday to me!

Goings-On 1: The sneeze

Just a few seconds ago, I felt my nose twitch and itch after having unwillingly and unwittingly inhaled some dust. I sneezed so loud that it echoed across the living room and the kitchen. Everyone around me looked up and glared at me as if to curse me for such reflex. I felt god-like. Haha!

Journal Entry: CRAP -- a contraction of Candy and wRAPpers

Hey peepz!

It's been a long while since I've actually done some postings up here. Kinda got phazed a little regarding personal issues and self-esteem but, nevertheless, I guess I've finally came up with the need to do writings for this little outlet of word-barf.

Today, I was doing nothing but purge the house of all things miniscule, dusty, sucky and insignificant-in other words, trash. It's perhaps the only thing that gets me going. My kins these days have been more than accommodating in leaving candy wrappers, crumpled paper, hair and smudges on the floor. Talk about job description for a chore. (Which reminds me, I'm utterly UNEMPLOYED -- pitiful, i know.) With all the droppings on the floor, it kinda stirred some kinks (pardon, I can't seem to find a better word for it) in my mind. I have resolved myself to enjoying what I'm doing as of the time being. I've always found stepping on candy wrappers rather amusing especially when they give off that crisp sound of being thrashed. So I stepped on one and to my surprise, I was surprised! It didn't give off any sound! Crap! I was disappointed.

Well, I was bored. What's the point of the narrative? I'm still figuring it out.

Good day, though!hehe

Journal Entry: Contemplations of a Slacker

It has been quite a while since I've actually wrote anything here. It seems that I was way too preoccupied about stuff regarding matters that I'd like to keep as nothing but circumstantial indifference about myself and the environment. It is so overrated when one says that he is so fed up when all the while he never really did anything that was of value. However, nothing is really of no value in this world; some things are not just worth all the acknowledgment and effort. That's just probably it. It's not that I didn't do anything; I just did something that was barely what others perceive to be significant thinking that better things were better drawn out than what was drawn. Nonsensical?Not really. I just understand myself better than anyone can reckon. Being progressive was never the idea of development. Development is the main idea of progressiveness. I deter to progress because I have never altered anything about my ways and understanding. In irony, one finds that his ways will be tested, contradictions will defeat the "id" and in these times of trying, the surviving assumptions will meld and liquefy into your being. Indivisible and invisible. I am lax not because I was strained then recoiled; I was always the way I was--only my doings didn't provide much of a produce.

Journal Entry: Just Realized

It was 6:30 am. Pretty early for a wake up call when your classes dont start until after noon but i liked it. When you look out the window, you can't help but know that something really good is about to come. My surroundings are dim but not eerily emphasized, the wind is cool but it doesnt sting, the sun is starting its steady rise to the skies, birds flutter by so effortlessly as if they're jovially pronouncing the rhythm of the morning zephyr. Everything was good as it can really get.

Everything was really nice. It was at this moment that I realized hapit na man diay ang pasko..i can almost taste my grandma's homemade ham, sulfur smokes streaking the holiday scent..sheesh..yep, the holidays are here again...Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year y'all
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Journal Entry: thinking out loud..HELP!!!

it's past 11:30 p.m. and i still dont have anything on my chatbox..i've had a few droppings-by messages while coasting along what seemed like an entire list of would-be's and could-be's..hmmm..to think these are just possible exchanges, not that they would really propose to have linked me to them. what a pity..i sound so desperate hehe...well, hopefully, by God's grace and in His time, they might just become mine as well...thanks for surfing through...

gud night mga pips..